


heart attacks are just from loving too much

by endeavour



Category: GOT7
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, First Day of School, Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, Romance, but failing miserably bc he loves his baby girl!!, but i actually wrote something????? and posted it????? this is a real thing that happened, even though i can apparently only write one fic a year, markson, this is honestly so fluffy u could make a winter coat out of it even I'M embarrassed, this is legit just 2k of jackson trying not to helicopter parent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-30 05:23:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8520121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/endeavour/pseuds/endeavour
Summary: It’s moments like this when he wishes that everything would stop. That time would just cease, and the world would stop turning, and they could just live in this little pocket of time for the rest of their lives.In which Jackson (a.k.a. THE COOL DAD) tries not to have an anxiety attack over his daughter's first day of school. Mark watches on fondly.





	

So, like, it’s not really his fault that Emily can’t find Monkey on the morning of the first day of school and she throws a hissy fit. It’s not. And, okay, maybe he knows where Monkey is, sure. And maybe he doesn’t _tell_ her even though he _should_ because there are tears running down her pretty face and he’s in daddy mode. But then he sees Em in her brand new bright red dress and her Pororo backpack, and his heart closes in on itself again, and no, they’re not taking his little girl away. He doesn’t care that they’ve already enrolled her and handed in all the paperwork. Just. No.

So he picks her up, puts her on his knee and pretends he’s a horse until the tears are just dried streaks down her face and there’s laughter bubbling up from her chest again.

Mark comes out of the bedroom looking flushed and exhausted, one hand holding the Frozen lunchbox he’d prepared earlier, and the other her pyjamas, eyes narrowing when he sees Jackson bouncing Em up and down on his lap. Jackson has the decency to look vaguely guilty, but then he’s back to tickling Em’s armpits until she’s writhing around on his lap, gasping for breath, bright smile on her precious, little face once again.

Mark sighs, zipping open her discarded backpack and stuffing her lunchbox into it. He gets that faint smile on his lips again when he sees Em’s face, but then he shoots another glare at Jackson. Jackson knows this as the _dad look_ which he’s all too familiar with seeing as how it’s directed at him more often than it is at Em.

“Monkey?” Em asks then, huge, doe eyes staring up at Jackson, breaking his heart the way that only she _can_ , because he knows that if he lies to her anymore, the tears are going to well up again. Maybe he’s being selfish because he wants his little girl all to himself, but he can’t prolong the tears. There’s only so much a grown man can take.

And besides, Mark’s got his hands on his hips, towering down over the both of them, like he _knows_ Jackson was the culprit (even though that’s not fair because he didn’t _hide_ it, he just knows where it _is_ ).

He gets up reluctantly, placing her in Mark’s arms as she squirms and giggles, and Mark gets that look on his face where his eyes turn into hearts and there’s nowhere else in the world he’d rather be. Jackson maybe kind of loves that look, so he sticks his hand into the space behind the sofa cushions and pulls Monkey out, pouting as he hands the much loved toy over to his daughter.

Em claps her hands gleefully the moment she sees Monkey, with his missing eye and mismatched stitching, and Jackson almost snatches the toy back from her because he knows what comes next and he’s in no way ready for it.

“Okay, sweetie, put Monkey in your bag.” Mark says, setting her down, and as Jackson watches her amble over to her little backpack there’s that tightness in his throat again. Is it normal for parents to get this emotional over their children going to school? How do people cope with it?

He looks up at Mark to see that he’s staring at him with those same heart eyes now, like _he’s_ the precious one, and Jackson kind of wants to scream at Mark over how calm he’s being because their little girl is going out into the big, bad world. How is he so _okay_ with this? It won’t be long before she’s corrupted. And swearing. And talking back to them. And bringing boys ( _or_ girls) home from school with her. And closing the door. And _sex_.

Mark seems to notice the emotional turmoil going on in Jackson’s mind though, because suddenly there’s a familiar reassuring hand on his shoulder, his brown eyes softer and warmer than usual, and it leaks into Jackson’s insides, like his touch is magic. It doesn’t make Jackson feel much stronger, but it does help him make sense of the thoughts in his head. It does dull the edge of hysteria and panic going on in his mind.

But then Mark glances at his watch and frowns, “We’re late.”

Jackson thinks _it’s time_ , and pushes the fear in his stomach down. He grabs hold of Em’s hand once Mark’s done looping the backpack around her arms, and then they’re shutting the front door behind them and stepping out into the chilly morning air. Em laughs in fascination at the fog that escapes her mouth with every breath, and all Jackson can think is that she’s got so much more to discover, and yeah, the world can be an awful place, but it can also be a beautiful one.

Em’s tiny fingers fit in the shell of his palm, and he’s hit with the memory of how much she’s grown over the past few years, but how he’ll always remember her as their little baby girl. The one with the big, brown eyes, and the minuscule fingers that were so small they wrapped around his thumb with ease. The girl with the cute little stub nose, and those rosy cheeks, and the wheeze of her laugh as her baby lungs heaved. He’ll remember the nights when both Mark and he were so exhausted from being awake all night from her crying they could barely even get themselves out of bed in the morning. He’ll remember how she’d only stop when they let her sleep in their bed, fit snugly between the both of them. How even now, sometimes he wakes up to her crawling underneath the covers to fit between them, and when he opens his eyes, the first things he’ll see are the tufts of her long, brown hair poking past the duvet covers, and the lazy upturn of Mark’s lips, his eyes still shut in the hopes of prolonging the moment.

It’s moments like this when he wishes that everything would stop. That time would just cease, and the world would stop turning, and they could just live in this little pocket of time for the rest of their lives. But then Mark would open his eyes, and they would immediately search for Jackson’s own, and he’d reach out his hand, past her tiny little body, to Mark’s hand and they would just lay there, hands clasped, until the sun started peeking out from behind the curtains and it was time to escape into the gigantic world outside of the four walls of their bedroom.

But she’s four years old now – almost five – and Mark’s got her other hand gripped tightly, and when he turns his head towards Jackson, Jackson gestures at the hand that he’s holding, yelling a countdown before the both of them swing her up into the air. Em squeals in delight, the animal clips in her hair flying all over the place, before giggling breathlessly, and the heaviness threatening to weigh down Jackson’s heart lightens up a little.

They do this a couple more times until Jackson notices that they’re almost there. The cold air sticks in his throat, and more than anything he just wants to pick her up in his arms and run all the way back home with her, but when he looks down at her, she doesn’t even look the least bit afraid. Besides, Mark would probably _kill_ him if he did, so he manages to resist somehow.

It’s not fair because he’s supposed to be the cool, fun dad, and Mark’s supposed to be the boring, panicky one that freaks out over all this stuff, but he’s looking as calm as ever, as if this is just an ordinary day, not the biggest day of Em’s life thus far. And here Jackson is, the only one having a heart attack over it.

They bypass the school gates, and Em’s eyes are immediately drawn to the empty playground. She starts pulling away from them at the sight, but both Jackson and Mark keep their fingers firmly locked around her tiny hands.

“We have to meet the teacher first, Em. _Then_ you can go play.” Mark reasons, tugging lightly on her arm, and pulling her in the direction of the school building. Jackson gives her fingers a comforting squeeze, though he’s not quite sure whether it’s more for his benefit or her own.

When they enter the classroom there are already a bunch of children toddling around the place, some of them are sitting cross-legged on the floor, while others still have their parents around coddling them. That makes Jackson feel a little better. Like he’s not the only one freaking out, and like the way he’s acting is completely normal and _Mark_ is being the abnormal one.

Em’s teacher is young, but she looks sweet and lovely, and her smile’s the kind of smile that lights up a room; the kind of smile that sets you at ease, so Jackson feels somewhat better about the fact that he’s leaving Em to her charge for the next couple of hours.

He also notices how she recognises them the instant she sees them, her eyes lighting up with excitement when she sees Em between the both of them. It hasn’t been that long, but it’s still kind of strange when people recognise them. Jackson’s come to accept that it will never _not_ be strange. But it was also surprisingly easy for the both of them, and the rest of the members, to slip into relative obscurity. Honestly, he’s thankful about it everyday because the thought of Em being hounded by fans and tabloids for something as simple as being born, sets his teeth on edge. As it is, they have bigger fish to fry and Jackson’s couldn’t be more grateful about it.

Mark chats idly with her for a little while as Jackson stares around the room. There are stick figures plastered along the walls, along with finger paintings, gold stars and learning charts. There’s a hangul alphabet banner on the back wall, along with a whole bank of tubs with names on them. He spots Em’s straight away.

Normally, he’d try and make conversation, but Mark’s the one that’s good at being sensible and _normal_ , and he thinks that talking will only betray the fragile state of mind he’s currently in anyway. Em’s teacher (her name is Hyesoo), keeps darting looks at Jackson and grinning.

When Mark takes Em over to go put her bag in the tub and leaves Jackson standing there, Hyesoo smiles big and bright, “I used to have the hugest crush on you.” And Jackson may not have had much direct female attention recently (Em doesn’t count), but it’s not hard to forget that there was a time when girls he never knew used to know would scream and cry whenever he (and the other members) were in the vicinity. It’s nothing but a nostalgic memory nowadays, but the thought still warms his heart. Makes him humble.

“Don’t worry, though. She’ll be alright. I promise I’ll take good care of her.” Hyesoo continues, smile still on her face.

Jackson tilts his head, face scrunching in on itself sheepishly. “Was I that obvious?”

Hyesoo laughs. “I’m used to it. They all get that look on their face. I could spot it a mile away.”

Then Mark and Em are back sans backpack, and Jackson knows that it’s _really_ time now, and it’s actually his little girl’s first day of school. He’s really going to have to let go this time.

Mark bends down and presses a kiss to her forehead, fingers cupped around her chubby, little cheeks. He straightens the locks of her hair, before standing up again, and raising his eyebrows at Jackson, lips turned up the slightest fraction fondly.

Jackson gets down on both his knees so he’s eye-level with Em. There’s a creep of a smile on her face and it’s enough to set one off on his own. He pulls her toward his chest and keeps it tight until she’s beating on the muscles of his back with her fists impatiently, and he knows he has to let go.

There may or may not be tears in his eyes.

“I’m still the cool dad, right?” He gets out, and he can _feel_ Mark rolling his eyes at that from behind him.

“Yes, daddy.” Em replies dutifully, then she leans in closer. “I love you and _bàba_ more than I love Monkey.” And, okay, he’s pretty sure his heart just exploded at that one.

“Love you too, princess.” Jackson whispers back into her ear, then kisses her cheek. When he stands up again, Mark is looking at him like he’s the most adorable thing on the planet, and that look alone kind of pieces his obliterated heart back together again.

“Okay, baby. We have to go now.” Mark says, and Hyesoo takes hold of Em’s hand, as the both of them wave.

Then, before Jackson knows what’s happening, Mark is pushing him out the classroom door and back outside the building into the frosty air. And, yeah, alright, maybe he’s not sure he would have left the room of his own accord, but _still_. Mark doesn’t say anything, just keeps his fingers clenched tight around Jackson’s upper arm, and in that instant Jackson suddenly feels how hard this is on Mark as well. Jackson can sense the worry that’s in his own heart bleeding through Mark in the whites of his knuckles, the lines on his forehead, like it’s only really just hit in for him _now_ what a big step this is. Or he’s been hiding his worry this whole time. Jackson wouldn't be surprised. He’s always been good at that.

He bumps himself closer to Mark, letting Mark’s body heat flow through his own body as they make their way back past the gates exiting the school grounds.

“She’s not allowed to get married.” He mumbles with a huff as Mark slides his slender fingers between the spaces of his own, and he doesn’t miss the grin that graces the older man’s face. He feels his heart swell, the way it always does whenever Mark’s near him, let’s it engulf him until there’s that sense of calm over him once again. The sense of calm that only Mark can instil.

And he thinks that if Em ever finds anyone like Mark that maybe then (and _only then_ ) marriage would be okay.

Not that he’s going to say that out loud or anything.

**Author's Note:**

> this has literally been sitting in my folder for something like four years now. i originally wrote it for another fandom/pairing, but then kind of fell out of that fandom...but it was still sitting there glaring at me, so i reworked it a little, and markson ended up sort of just fitting what i was going for (you know, pure, teeth-rotting fluff). kid fic always gets me w e a k (and markson as parents can u IMAGINE). so yeah. any mistakes are all mine.


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